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Sunday, March 14, 2010

Das Q: The Boon Dock Saints 2: All Saints Day (2009)

It is with a heavy heart that I pronounce the Brothers dead. Did I just spoil that for you?

No.

Well, to be honest with you, I don’t know. Maybe they die in the end, maybe they live on in some sort of infamy. I couldn’t tell you, because about fifteen minutes into the movie, I stopped it, swore incoherently under my breath, and put the original back on. I couldn’t take the dialogue, the acting, the story.

Why?

Because there was none. The only shining star in this movie was Julie Benz, what I saw of her, fresh off her ending story arc in Dexter. She made me keep the movie on for longer than I would have normally.

Troy Duffy, you have officially made me turn off a movie. That has not happened to me before. I was so angered with what Duffy was doing to these characters, I had to cleanse my pallet and turn on the original. For me The Saints, as The Dropkick Murphys sing in “The Green Fields of France”, will “be forever nineteen.” As in 1999, the year of the original release.

It is appropriate that the song is a dirge.

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